You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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