doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
