She's JV to your varsity
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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