I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
