You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
