FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
