I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
