Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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