i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
