I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
zippers are such a cool invention
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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