OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
