We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
