I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
