Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
