This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
