peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
