Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is Oprah even human
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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