I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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