so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
