I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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