I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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