Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
