I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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