Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
