I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
