i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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