I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
