One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
