If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Send help, water and tortillas.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
