Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
