it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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