the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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