so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
