Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
