Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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