Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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