There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
