Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I smell like Dick and happiness
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
