how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
