He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Who died my cat blue again?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
