I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
