If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
