Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Welp...herpes.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
