ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
