stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
