Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I didn't notice because vodka
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
