Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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