So drunk its hurt
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
