we have officially lost it.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
