R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
