My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
